Not even a quantum of solace *no spoilers*

DISCLAIMER: This post may contain little description of the movie. Hence, if you've watched the movie, then you can afford to read the rest of the post. However.. and this is a big however, if you've not watched the movie yet, then I'd strongly recommend you to read the rest of the post and then take a wise, life-changing decision of whether you want to watch the movie or not. Amen.

So we decided to go to Crown theatre to watch James Bond's latest flick "Quantum of Solace". For the uninitiated, Crown is the only theater in Calicut to screen the latest English movies. Since we could not get the balcony tickets, we had to settle for the second class tickets. Now for second class tickets, you do not have seat numbers. The seats are allotted on first come first serve basis. So there was a mad rush when the gates were opened and since we are not really big fans of rushing, (unles we have to rush out of classes) we ended up getting front row seats.

Before the movie began, the usual commercials were being aired. But surprise surprise! A Kohinoor condom commercial was aired and the entire crowd sat there in complete silence and attention. I was stunned by the idea of playing a condom commercial in a theatre. Playing the national anthem is perfectly fine with me, but playing a condom ad?? Which genius came up with that idea? But what came as a bigger shock was the crowd which sat there watching and listening to everything. I had not expected such a decent crowd in Crown! If it had been Hyderabad, people would have gone crazy and vocal showing their approval.

After the ad ended, they played the Dostana trailer. AB Jr in shades and Priyanka in a bikini got a few claps but when they showed a bare bodied John, the theatre erupted! There were whistles, howls, shrieks, comments (which thankfully I could not understand) and claps.. only from men! Only men!?! I did not really understand why a Priyanka-in-a-bikini is not a more attractive proposition than a John-in-shorts. Did I say decent crowd? Crowds here are really messed up!

And finally the movie started. And with great regret, I say that the movie failed to provide me with even a quantum of solace. The title track was long and boring. The editing was horrible. I think a monkey decided to chew down half the script and the director decided to shoot the movie anyways. And the English accent at places is completely incomprehensible. I dont really get this - these guys invented the language! How can they speak in such gibberish accent? Somehow the ladies find the accent a real turn on. Strange. Coming back to the movie, the stunts were cool, not too many technical gadgets were used and the lead female was not that great looking. And finally when the movie ended, the crowd was howling - I think they were thankful that the director decided to end the movie halfway. So to all my friends in leading metros, do not waste your 100-150 bucks on this movie. I'd rather sit at home and watch repeat telecast of Sachin-Sourav partnerships on Star Cricket. Sigh.. am all nostalgic now!

Status message of the day:

"The black man is called in to clean up the mess. What's new?"

- An Egyptian blogger on Obama's election

PS: Watch Deshdrohi - from what I saw in the trailers, the male lead has a funny way of mouthing off dialogues :D Dr. Eddie Murphy meets Bhagat Singh.
PS2: Twin setbacks to the Indian cricket team in this series. No Jumbo.. no dada.. Watching cricket will not be the same again :( Lets hope we win the series 2-0! :D Go India go!
PS3: Hope to blog more often.
PS4: That's the 3264th time I've promised myself to blog regularly.

About me: Chapter 1 - Me & my accents

Lately I have been fascinated with foul language. This was the best start I could come up with after a 4 month sabbatical. Or was it 5? Anyways before we digress completely, as I mentioned earlier, I've been fascinated with foul language recently. Yes, and I've taken a liking towards the f-word so much that it makes a guest appearance once in every 100 words I speak. That's an alarming frequency considering I dont intend to write the script for Pulp Fiction's sequel. But I dont use it to vent out my frustration or to sound cool (may be someeetimes?) Instead I use it because it sounds funny when pronounced in different accents. Now have you ever tried that? Its feck-yu in Mallu accent and fock yo in Carribean. Its actually fun to use it when things get screwed up and people are expecting someone to start swearing - just breaks the tension in the air. Try it and get back to me with feedback! Possibly then I will divulge zee European version which primarily involves tampering with the syllables. (The Mallu accent works like magic!)

So what have I been up to in the past few months when I was away from the blog-o-sphere? The usual stuff - attending classes and dozing off in most of them, watching sitcoms, perfecting the mallu accent, hanging out with my wingmates and bitching about classmates, assignments and deadlines, staying invisible on gtalk to shun forced socialization and as always trying to put on more weight! I also was part of a small 10 minute short film which was directed by the director of "Left Right Left", a serial on Sony SAB. It was fun making the movie. Of course he dubbed my voice at the end, so the movie sounds so funny that I could not watch it more than once. But I've got good reviews from people (who fear that I might tease them if they give negative feedback) and critical comments from others (who are much bigger in size than me. sigh!) It was a great learning experience nonetheless.

Well, I really want to write a lot more stuff but then samay samaapthi ki ghoshna! So all you readers (yes, all six of you!) please do come back to read more about me. This is a desperate plea for attention. I promise the next post will be entertaining! Continued ...

In the next episode:
Self-deprecating humour and I *dadaang!! Camera closes in on my face.. then camera tilts by 45 degrees and again closes in on my face.. beat picks up in the background.. sounds of thunder! Repeat closing in of camera at different angles*
Foreign exchange students *Camera closes in on my face again.. not anywhere else (You wish!!) I have an evil smile spread across my face. hehahaha*
A blast from the past *Flashback in black and white.. A story about a miniature Gokul (dressed in uniform) and his environmental science project.. Sensitive issues like the bomb blasts will not be discussed by a man with an IQ of a chimp*

PS: I do have shreds of self-esteem left! Chimps are the most intelligent among animals.
PS1: I should stop watching Ekta's serials..
PS2: Composing this post was so damn hard! I just hope that I get better at this. It was fun blogging again :D
PS3: Some encouraging comments will be appreciated. :-s
PS4: To all my mallu friends - no hard feelings! :D
PS5: The "About me" series will continue.