Thursday, February 16, 2006

You are addicted to..

A few days back, a very old friend of mine, called me and we were having a nice chat, reminiscing about our school days, when he happened to ask my daily schedule. Now as most of you must be knowing how jobless and honest I am, he was obviously shocked when I told him my schedule. He added that I was addicted to the internet and like any other normal earthling, my immediate reaction was a long NO. (Ok not very long, but longer than the normal NO) But then a probe was launched which led to intense contemplation and finally I have come up with some substantial results. Thought it might be useful to you guys also... Self-assessment, they say. Ok, so here we go now..

You are addicted to the internet if..
  • You get up early in the morning at 3 am to go to the bathroom, but decide to check your mails first. After half an hour, when you are done checking you mails, chatting with your equally insomniac pals, and adding some more items to your download queue in DC++ (which you might accidentally stumble upon a year later and delete it wondering why you downloaded it in the first place) you suddenly remember that you had got up to pee. So you accomplish your mission and on your return browse the net for one more hour and at a very early, healthy 5:30 am go back to bed, satisfied.
  • You see or hear something funny and you start screaming "LOL LOL" or in some cases "ROFL ROFL" instead of actually laughing out loud. Another instance is when you are on the phone and say "BRB".
  • You cannot recognise your own hadwriting. You want to type your assignments rather than write it. Easier to distribute it as well :D You type only in lowercase.. even your assignments. In fact, you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization or complete sentences.
  • You would rather open and watch ball-by-ball commentary than actually go to the TV lounge and watch the match. Especially when a wicket falls, the screams from the TV lounge drives you crazy, and you end up pressing the refresh button umpteen number of times just to see how the wicket fell.
  • You have misplaced your room lock and you have this sudden urge to press Ctrl+F and search for it.
  • To you, multi-tasking is nothing but chatting with 3 people simultaneously while checking the scores on cricinfo and keeping an eye on the yahoo mail alert. Not to mention the countless number of times you type nfrm and pine -i in your putty login.
  • You are too lazy to write a diary and instead start a personal blog which soon becomes public. Of course you do become lazier and do not update your blog. Reason? Bloggers block.
  • You beg your friend next door to get an account so that you can "keep in touch". And once he gets one, you buzz him quite frequently only to ask him if he's ready to eat dinner, or come to the cafeteria.
  • You get up in the morning and go online before you actually start brushing your teeth.
  • The only jokes you recieve are from e-mail.
  • You start using smilies in your snail mail as well. In fact you have ever written a pen-and-paper letter to someone and found it absolutely _impossible_ to do without smilies. Then you realise how smilies (most of which are bald :|) are soo important in expressing your own emotions.
  • You decide to go to the loo and suddenly remember that you had forgotten to change your status message. And so you come back and change your status message to "Off to pee. BRB" and make it just in time to the loo. (Or sometimes you are not soo lucky.. tsk tsk)
  • You end your sentences with... three or more periods.....
  • You do the craziest of the things which you wouldn't do under normal circumstances, when your internet connection is down. Like studying!! or even going to bed at 11:00!! Thinking of these very things gives me the goosebumps... maann!
  • You forgot how to operate your own TV remote control.. :(
  • You blog about symptoms indicating your addiction to the internet.
  • You sat around for 2 or more minutes trying to think of something witty (or dumb) "You might be addicted to internet if.. " joke to add to this list.
  • You understand all the jokes in this post. If so, my dear friend you are completely addicted to the internet and you better take a vacation to a place with no electricity and no phone lines. No no, you cannot buy a laptop and a cellular modem.
If you can think of any other instances which indicate internet addiction, please do write them in the comments section. You can also mention your favourite among the above mentioned ones. All brickbats are welcome as well :-s But make sure that you dont go overboard.

Quote of the day:
A clever person solves a problem...
A wise person avoids it.
--Albert Einstein.

P.S1: Have my multi-robotics presentation tomorrow :-ss. 5 groups made their presentations on tuesday amd some of them spoke in a very funny accent, pronouncing robots as Roberts and flaw as fllah(as in blah)
P.S2: Even the SE presentations were very funny, although they weren't intended to be. Had an all-girls group presenting with someone renaming them as the "Charlie's Angels" group. Lots of cat calls and screeches.. so finally I am doing something in SE class other than dozing off :D
P.S3: Some of the symptoms mentioned above in the post apply only to the IIITians.
PS4: I just realised that this was my 50th post. Cool, right? :D So if you guys dont mind, tell me the post which you did not like among all the posts (or hated the most.. yeah the worst post, or posts). And if that is not tiring enough, you can always do me a favour by mentioning your favourite post.. yeah the best among the worst.. :D

*Updated on 17th Feb*



Anonymous Ur valentine :P said...

Before anybody else reads your post..add something about google too :D.That is the biggest of all addictions !!..
I remember reading somewhere that people use google/wikipedia to search even abt "aloo samosa" :D.
Whenever an IA (Internet Addict :)) comes across a new word the first thing he would do wud be to google ;).

4:37 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Point noted.. my dear valentine :P

8:51 AM  
Blogger Jaya said...

ROFL...and unfortunately i'm a victim to most..
I also notice that a lot of ur addiction assumes higher priority over the will to pee..are u sure u even wanted to?
'LOL' happened to me too..(and i almost reached the 3 periods limit just now)..I watched a whole innings of the cricket match via cricket info..though the tv was on right next to my PC:D
I hate life without smileys, and it took great effort to capitalize my I's in this comment,(after sam told me about them once!)
Am i addicted?....hmm..pause...and here's a looong NO..

9:01 AM  
Blogger Gulam Hasan said...

Noooooooo m not addicted LOL jud post jo ...another pt. u missed wud b the immense joy one gets if het gets more comments or fwds or even if he is the first one to comment on some1's blog....

9:07 AM  
Blogger Jaya said...

Affy fgot the urge to snoop around like a hawk, so he can be the first to write a milestone scrap for someone on Orkut..havent we all been at the other end of that..I even learnt and executed it beautifully in his scrap book..

9:07 AM  
Blogger Jaya said...

I sometimes leave my comp on all night, so i dont have to wait for it to startup before i see whats new on the net, in the morning..

Refreshing ur mail a million times, though u havent got any alert indicating any messages

Reading archives and old mails/forwards when there's nothing else to do..

Will think up some more when they come to me..
nice tactic to increase comments btw:p)

9:13 AM  
Blogger Vivek said...

first of all congrats on ur 50th post...:)
dey v r known as "internauts" mention tat..kewl name rite??as valentine had pointed,u hve missed out te mother of all addictions..googling...n reg my fav post,i shd say tat it was ur last tag post...since u had mentioned my name in it :P..i felt so
one more suggestion da...y don u hve a commod as ur chair so tat u nvr hv 2 move out for pee??hoz it machcha??? ;)

12:40 PM  
Blogger oBelIX said...

add ...

you get up and chk smr's site for cs servers ...

you'd rather watch two more episodes of "everybody loves raymond" than goto sleep one hour early

10:07 PM  
Blogger Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

I don't know how to react! :-|

sometimes i get up at night ... at about 3 or something .... and i start checking my mails, blog and yahoo messenger!! And these days since momz not at home ... the computer's 24/7 on!

exactly! @ LOL
I do it sometimes when am on da fone!!

Sometimes when my mom asks me .. as to wht am i doing ... i tell her 'nuttin just some TP' !

Thanks for ... that means i dont hafta sit on yahoo messenger all da time and ask my friends for updates! ;p

lmao! @ ctrl + F ... no i havent done it ever!

yaa i've got the 'z - syndrome' ... so even while writing an exam ... i end up writing like that. e.g sisterz, computerz , therez, etc
And yeah not to forget the three dots ... they're everywhere when i write! ;p

Hahaa... when i was in mumbai ... my neighbor asked me to get yahoo messenger so that we both cud chat and as u said 'keep in touch' ;p

i've had voice conferences with people even without brushing ... just happened 3 days back!

Therez this cartoon ... my dad specially sent it to me a few days back!

loll @ smilies ... yeah ... !!

when your internet connection is down. Like studying!! or even going to bed at 11:00!! Thinking of these very things gives me the goosebumps... maann!

I've been thru this state ... as u might have read my post already!!!!

Am a total addict :) :)

So how did ur presentation go? I have mine in sometime ... and just realised i need to finish up making slides now...

Congratz for ur 50th post!!!
Best post : This one ... coz i could relate to it so much :)

I anyway like all ur posts ... the ones i have read i mean ... you write pretty well :)

Ok types post: Template modifications, CAT classes and chicks

5:24 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

I was just exaggerating on tht point.. come on.. I aint THAT bad..

TV right next to ur PC and still cricinfo?? dats the height of addiction!

Affy fgot the urge to snoop around like a hawk, so he can be the first to write a milestone scrap for someone on Orkut.
How cud Affy fget THAT?? :o

Reading archives and old mails/forwards when there's nothing else to do..
Yeah.. happens all da time..

think.. think :D It is a nice way to increase comments. I dint expect such a response though. Thought I was one of the few affected by this syndrome :D

P.S: your i in "am i addicted" is not capitalized.. And heres a looong YES for your question :P

5:46 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

You bet Affy!! In fact I am happy right now with so many comments I am getting :P And the same goes for forwards as well.

dude! Affirmatise that! (in Butcher style :D) I used to think only I was like that and so didnt mention it, as it might not appeal to anyone else. And now tht u hav mentioned it, I guess everyone of us is more or less similar :D But I prefer watching WLIIA :D

5:51 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

dei machchaa.. kalakitte daa.. internauts :D peru nalla irukku..

yes.. I simply overlooked googling as an IA.. which in itself proves that its a huge one.. esp among we techies.

hehe.. thanku :D

commode cum chair aa?? dei dei dei.. engayyyooo poitiye daa.. nee einstein shishye dhaane.. unmaye sollu!! :p nee engayyoo irukka vediyavein.. toilet nnu naan solla maatein :P

6:12 AM  
Blogger Trinity Teal™ said...

lolzz .. funny one .. but ignoring nature's call for browsing is too much dood ... i recommend two words:
'thera-py' ... ;-)

7:12 AM  
Blogger Sameera said...

next time u post u lemme know or else!!!!&&&&&&&#######***##@@@@#*******#@

ok i used mosta the keys i know

i nodded to all of those things cept for waking up at 3 and doing the other things first :p

thank god i sleep well

awesomely funny post

very very funny which is why it took me so long to comment :p

as for ur 50th congrats man..

i like ur post on death and dyin the best

ur older post on that hindi speakin phone call wasnt ur best
before u left on a vacation from blogging

u know da all our handwriting sucks now cos of typing :(

neways i really love ur style of writing..keep it up :)

and reach a century soon

9:59 AM  
Anonymous Hiren said...

Thanks for introducing me to myself. I am a self confessed internet if not blog fanatic. Watchout.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Emerald. said...

Nice post.

Today, I made some notes on how to plan my coming week.

I was even considering making it into a weekly Schedule.

There, I used the word "Schedule".


11:38 AM  
Blogger Emerald. said...

The S.-word will probably include the Internet in some way.

Practical, creative. Communication-wise.

Signing off for now, X.

11:51 AM  
Blogger Preetam said...

im completely addicted. The other day i was searching for a Google search button in my bookshelf :p

7:11 AM  
Blogger Arz000n said...

You are addicted to the internet if..
I have almost all the points mentioned under I know Im highly addicted to internet :D

11:19 PM  
Blogger Mind Curry said...

wow..that kind of helped me discover myself! :)

p.s. salute to another floyd fan!!

2:56 AM  
Blogger Gates said...

You are insane. Its one thing I wouldn't mind gettin' addicted to.

Now if only I could get that Dell 17" lappy I had my eyes on...

6:36 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

geez.. How cud I miss the z-syndrome? Point noted.. :D

Voice conferences without brushing? :o With the powers bestowed upon by me b the Internet Addicts Association (IAA) I declare you as an Internet Addict.. :D

@trinity teal:
You meant thera-pee .. right? ;))

12:48 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

aye aye captain.. will keep you posted on the post issue :P

J still has very beautiful writing naa :D It is only us mortals who are stuck in the I-cant-recognise-my-handwriting phase.

Thanku for ur frank comments.. I really appreciate 'em.. :D And thanks for the best wishes :D Hope to complete my century before I run outta ideas and decide to take a break :P

12:54 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:00 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Hi.. welcome to ma blog :D
Thanku and yes, we hafta use the word schedule.. Sounds professional :D

And thanku for the suggestions :D

Welcome to ma blog, dude!
You accept that you are an addict and belimey the worst part is over :D And searching for google bookmark in the bookshelf was funny.. welcome to the club mann :D

Glad to be of help :D

1:01 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

@mind curry:
Hi.. welcome to ma blog.. Now THAT is a compliment :D And hail floyd :D
*salutes back*

Greetings.. welcome to my blog.. and yeah I am kinda insane.. Any doubts.. please refer to IPC section 305A..

And bout the dell lappy.. if only wishes were horses.. *sigh*

1:07 AM  
Blogger Kk said...

ha ! for every point of urs., i can almost write a parellel similar point ., just that i'm an addict at home and u at ur hostel

6:59 AM  
Blogger quills said...

LOL!I just discovered I am addicted and share at least 14 points or more out of what you have listed here.

8:43 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Affirmatise that.. And welcome to my blog.

wow! Congrats, you are now a member of the Internet Addicts Association :P And btw welcome to my blog.

2:42 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Voices said...

Well..... i got all these ages ago.. i remembermy friend loggin on to message me when he found my phone busy. That was 5 years ago. Now, though I have a mobile and broadband, he still buzzes me... and i can no more sleep before sunrise.... I may miss my alarm, but instinctively get up and answer buzzes

6:25 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Thanks for dropping by :D
You rock dude! I wonder what all you went through before your body started reacting to buzzes.. :-?

9:03 AM  

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