Me Almighty!! A conversation with Gaaawwwd..

Statutory Warning: People allergic to smileys are asked to stay away from this post because of excessive usage of the same.

God: BUZZ!!
God: you there?
Me: Ya.. wru?
God: Thought you were a theist.. :-s.. I am God.. duh
Me: Come on.. don’t fool around.. Are u M? or H?
God: I am G for God.. when will people ever learn.. You talk about faith but when very rarely, I manage to come online no one &%$&$ believes me [-(
Me: :-? Hmmmm…
Me: Hain?? And I am supposed to believe you??
God: Laloo is no more in Bihar. What more proof dyu want? Had a tuf time convincing Mr. D i.e devil but finally I won! *yay!!* But i dunno if D's gonna mess up with nitish *worried*
Me: Ok whatever.. Mr. God, so wassup and how did you find my yahoo id? Who gave it? Was it the devil =))
God: Actually devil does have his friends but he has a separate friends list.. Lets call HIM “D”.. kinda used to it.
Me: Oh.. k lemme get this.. so D and you share the same login?? :-o
God: Yes.. Ok stop laughing.. You don’t want to piss me off, belimey.
Me: I piss everyone off.. I love doing it.. If you ARE the god, then you shud be knowing about this..
God: I can take your powers.. *evil laugh*..
Me: Dude!! You are not supposed to have anything evil associated with ya.. :P
God: woops!! I shud stop hanging out with D. Over the past few days we have become the best of friends.. :D
Me: What?? You and D are the best of friends.. No wonder my life is so fked up.
God: Actually theres a problem. The devil is my alter..
Me: What the… But how?? I mean you are THE GOD.
God: yes L( I suffer from multi-personlity disorder. Well actually I watched Anniyan (or Aparichitudu) too many times.. :-s
Me: So you really ARE god?? And now what?
Me: BUZZ!!

God has signed out.
God has signed in.

God: This WLAN sux big time.. will get a better WLAN connection soon..
Me: Tell me about it.
God: Coming back to the topic, the doctors want me to take some rest. The tsunamis, earthquakes and the Bihar elections have lead me to a burnout, it seems. So I have decided to renounce my post for a month and go off to Hawaii for vacation. So I might leave you in charge.
Me: wow! Is it because I am the most capable candidate? *blushes*
God: Actually no.. You are the only person who is bored most of the day and whiles away all the time in the world. So maybe for a change you can do something for the humanity.
Me: How rude.. and true L. Well.. fine. What am I supposed to do?
God: First and foremost you hafta stop chatting and blogging for one month. Also since you are suffering from insomnia, you’ll be able to service requests and prayers for atleast 20 hours every day.. What say??
Me: What?? :-o Come on. Don’t make me do this.. How is it possible?
God: If you don’t do it, I might hafta take drastic steps. I might get some hacker to hack your blog..
Me: Oh no you wont.. No emotional blackmailing.. :-s I think people can take care of themselves. They don’t need a God. Plus I am too inexperienced to be a God.
God: *raised eyebrow* Theres no need for experience. Also if people can take care of themselves, why do you keep calling for my help all the time?
Me: *Rolling eyes* I know, we should help ourselves. But it’s very difficult to find enough strength to battle all the hardships that your “so-called alter” throws at our lives.
God: D is going to be a good boy from now onwards. I have found him another planet which is devoid of life to keep him pre-occupied. It will be some time before anything goes wrong unless.. you mess it up.
God: But seriously, whatever hardships you face, is it D’s fault? There’s a God and devil in everyone and it is upto you, whether you want to follow ME *points to himself* or HIM *points to himself again*
Me: That’s an interesting theory. Hmmm.. How would I know whether I am following YOU or HIM? I mean you.. your alter.. This is kinda confusing.
God: Everything in life is complex. Well you do have your conscience, I gift you with a clean conscience at the time of your birth but then..
Me: ya ya I know.. Is my conscience clean? OJ
God: Its relatively clean but you don’t seem to be following it.
Me: Ya.. life has been tough.
God: You think ur life is tuf?? Imagine mine.. You guys are never thankful at all.. dayuummm
Me: Hey no swearing please..
God: I am the GOD.. I can do anything. Plus I’m frustrated as well.. I’ve no God unlike you guys, to whom I can go and pour all my problems. What dyu think of me, huh?
Me: Man.. can u crib or what.. So what r u gonna do about your vacation? :-s
God: Theres no vacation. Was just fooling around. Actually everytime you lament.. “Oh God!! Why me?” There’s this huge bell, similar to the one they have in the monasteries, which rings and it really gets on my nerves. So I thought maybe I can teach a lesson or two.. :)) What did you think.. That I'm Morgan Freeman and you are Jim Carrey??
Me: Then all this was just some kind of a joke??
God: Yes.. *evil grin* Oh my God!! Here he comes.. :-ss
Me: rofl.. You are telling OMG!! Ya.. so then the devil is not your alter?? *Yay!!*
Me: who comes??

God has signed out.
Me: BUZZ!!
Devil has signed in.

Devil: Hi there optimist.. You know I really hate optimists..
Me: Who’s this?
Devil: Are you fsking blind?? I am the one and only Devil from the same login of course. Muhahahahahahahahahahaha.. ok I hate laughing hysterically, its too monotonous.
Me: I thought he lied to me about it.. :-s And why do you hate optimists? :-ss
Devil: I AM HIS ALTER. In fact he is my alter. Why do I hate optimists?? duh.. Because I am supposed to.
Devil: BUZZ!!
Devil: Heard that everything is very rosy in your life. *grins like a chesire cat* When is your SE presentation? I’d like to make a special guest appearance.. >J I am adding you in my bakras… I mean my “friends” list..
Me: Nice talking to you, Mr. Devil Sir. Bye.