Friday, December 02, 2005

Me Almighty!! A conversation with Gaaawwwd..

Statutory Warning: People allergic to smileys are asked to stay away from this post because of excessive usage of the same.

God: BUZZ!!
God: you there?

Me: Ya.. wru?
God: Thought you were a theist.. :-s.. I am God.. duh
Me: Come on.. don’t fool around.. Are u M? or H?
God: I am G for God.. when will people ever learn.. You talk about faith but when very rarely, I manage to come online no one &%$&$ believes me [-(
Me: :-? Hmmmm…
Me: Hain?? And I am supposed to believe you??
God: Laloo is no more in Bihar. What more proof dyu want? Had a tuf time convincing Mr. D i.e devil but finally I won! *yay!!* But i dunno if D's gonna mess up with nitish *worried*
Me: Ok whatever.. Mr. God, so wassup and how did you find my yahoo id? Who gave it? Was it the devil =))
God: Actually devil does have his friends but he has a separate friends list.. Lets call HIM “D”.. kinda used to it.
Me: Oh.. k lemme get this.. so D and you share the same login?? :-o
God: Yes.. Ok stop laughing.. You don’t want to piss me off, belimey.
Me: I piss everyone off.. I love doing it.. If you ARE the god, then you shud be knowing about this..
God: I can take your powers.. *evil laugh*..
Me: Dude!! You are not supposed to have anything evil associated with ya.. :P
God: woops!! I shud stop hanging out with D. Over the past few days we have become the best of friends.. :D
Me: What?? You and D are the best of friends.. No wonder my life is so fked up.
God: Actually theres a problem. The devil is my alter..
Me: What the… But how?? I mean you are THE GOD.
God: yes L( I suffer from multi-personlity disorder. Well actually I watched Anniyan (or Aparichitudu) too many times.. :-s
Me: So you really ARE god?? And now what?
Me: BUZZ!!

God has signed out.
God has signed in.


God: This WLAN sux big time.. will get a better WLAN connection soon..
Me: Tell me about it.
God: Coming back to the topic, the doctors want me to take some rest. The tsunamis, earthquakes and the Bihar elections have lead me to a burnout, it seems. So I have decided to renounce my post for a month and go off to Hawaii for vacation. So I might leave you in charge.
Me: wow! Is it because I am the most capable candidate? *blushes*
God: Actually no.. You are the only person who is bored most of the day and whiles away all the time in the world. So maybe for a change you can do something for the humanity.
Me: How rude.. and true L. Well.. fine. What am I supposed to do?
God: First and foremost you hafta stop chatting and blogging for one month. Also since you are suffering from insomnia, you’ll be able to service requests and prayers for atleast 20 hours every day.. What say??
Me: What?? :-o Come on. Don’t make me do this.. How is it possible?
God: If you don’t do it, I might hafta take drastic steps. I might get some hacker to hack your blog..
Me: Oh no you wont.. No emotional blackmailing.. :-s I think people can take care of themselves. They don’t need a God. Plus I am too inexperienced to be a God.
God: *raised eyebrow* Theres no need for experience. Also if people can take care of themselves, why do you keep calling for my help all the time?
Me: *Rolling eyes* I know, we should help ourselves. But it’s very difficult to find enough strength to battle all the hardships that your “so-called alter” throws at our lives.
God: D is going to be a good boy from now onwards. I have found him another planet which is devoid of life to keep him pre-occupied. It will be some time before anything goes wrong unless.. you mess it up.
God: But seriously, whatever hardships you face, is it D’s fault? There’s a God and devil in everyone and it is upto you, whether you want to follow ME *points to himself* or HIM *points to himself again*
Me: That’s an interesting theory. Hmmm.. How would I know whether I am following YOU or HIM? I mean you.. your alter.. This is kinda confusing.
God: Everything in life is complex. Well you do have your conscience, I gift you with a clean conscience at the time of your birth but then..
Me: ya ya I know.. Is my conscience clean? OJ
God: Its relatively clean but you don’t seem to be following it.
Me: Ya.. life has been tough.
God: You think ur life is tuf?? Imagine mine.. You guys are never thankful at all.. dayuummm
Me: Hey no swearing please..
God: I am the GOD.. I can do anything. Plus I’m frustrated as well.. I’ve no God unlike you guys, to whom I can go and pour all my problems. What dyu think of me, huh?
Me: Man.. can u crib or what.. So what r u gonna do about your vacation? :-s
God: Theres no vacation. Was just fooling around. Actually everytime you lament.. “Oh God!! Why me?” There’s this huge bell, similar to the one they have in the monasteries, which rings and it really gets on my nerves. So I thought maybe I can teach a lesson or two.. :)) What did you think.. That I'm Morgan Freeman and you are Jim Carrey??
Me: Then all this was just some kind of a joke??
God: Yes.. *evil grin* Oh my God!! Here he comes.. :-ss
Me: rofl.. You are telling OMG!! Ya.. so then the devil is not your alter?? *Yay!!*
Me: who comes??

God has signed out.
Me: BUZZ!!
Devil has signed in.

Devil: Hi there optimist.. You know I really hate optimists..
Me: Who’s this?
Devil: Are you fsking blind?? I am the one and only Devil from the same login of course. Muhahahahahahahahahahaha.. ok I hate laughing hysterically, its too monotonous.
Me: I thought he lied to me about it.. :-s And why do you hate optimists? :-ss
Devil: I AM HIS ALTER. In fact he is my alter. Why do I hate optimists?? duh.. Because I am supposed to.
Devil: BUZZ!!
Devil: Heard that everything is very rosy in your life. *grins like a chesire cat* When is your SE presentation? I’d like to make a special guest appearance.. >J I am adding you in my bakras… I mean my “friends” list..

Me: Nice talking to you, Mr. Devil Sir. Bye.

Labels:

14 Comments:

Blogger Lord of all Things said...

awesome post!
how come i can never come up with such stuff??

5:21 AM  
Blogger Lord of all Things said...

btw
Do not go where
The path may lead,
Go instead where
There is no path
And leave a trail.

this is one of mah fav posts-Ralph Waldo Emerson rite??

5:23 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

@loat:
Hi welcome to my blog :D

Spot on!! It is Ralph Waldo Emerson.. just dint remember it, when I was posting. It was kind of impulsive.. So..

I am honored.. thanku.. So do I get to be the reigning king of crap?? :D

5:42 AM  
Blogger Abbulu the good guy said...

ultimate dooD ..... de facto the highest order of creativity.

Fellow Blogger!! I salute U

7:32 AM  
Anonymous Kiran said...

hey vasan,Plz ask god to chat with me becoz the dayz r not at all favouring 2 me (not enough bounty in NFS MW to fight with rivalry and fking DWDM).So Plz do this favour for me.

Thanx in Anticipation
UG200301118

8:25 AM  
Blogger Lord of all Things said...

yeh sure;) but not of my region.. therz only one ruler in my area!

8:35 AM  
Blogger Sameera said...

God: yes L( I suffer from multi-personlity disorder. Well actually I watched Anniyan (or Aparichitudu) too many times.. :-s

hehe...and the devil adding u to his bakra list...

nice one...dude..really interestin....

spawny is also flirtatious eh..didnt know this :p

9:19 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

@real ignis fatuus:
thanx da.. A comment of that kind is certainly appreciated.. Thanku :D
Also I am reminding u that u hav been tagged.. So u better come up with the tag post asap.. :) You dont want the devil visiting, do you?? *evil grin*

12:23 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

@kiran:
welcome to my blog :D
Actually, I think WLAN got fked up in heaven.. will send God an offline asking HIM to add you in his messenger list. But it will be some time till he comes online, bcoz of da placements.. So just hang in there..

12:28 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

@loat:
As you wish, your excellency. The optimist sends greetings from utopia and has proclaimed himself as the emperor of you-know-what.(Read tht u r a harry potter fan)

@sam:
Thanx sam. btw whats really interesting? The post or the fact tht I am flirtatious?? :P You'll never change.. *shakes head*. Learn sthn from Jaya :D

12:40 PM  
Blogger Gulam Hasan said...

nice post dude....
God startin off da conversation w a buzz lol nice
4 out of the 10 comments r urs n u were tellin sthin abt sam...
keep bloggin(as if u ll stop if i wudnt ve said tht)

1:03 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

@gulam:
Hi.. thanx for dropping by..

Everyone cannot have gazzilion comments like you, coz I aint "sweet" like ya.. :D So I am trying my best to make my comments section look respectable.. Ya.. it will be some time before I stop blogging regularly.. and that will be like maybe 2-3 months.. Am i addicted or what?? :D

2:20 AM  
Anonymous Shashank said...

dei macchi.. kalakitte
besh besh.. romba nalla irukku.. :D

9:39 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

@shashank:
idhe.. idhe.. idhe dhaan naan edhur paarthen.. :D
Thanx macchi

9:42 PM  

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