Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The box of assorted chocolates

This post will be like one of those boxes of assorted chocolates – there’s something there for everyone! (unless you hate chocolates or you’re diabetic) Let me start with something for my number crunching friends.

As has been the custom for the past few posts, I shall begin with local trains. I remember reading this report on a newspaper that the average number of travelers at any given time on a Mumbai local train has fallen this year from 4800 to less than 4100. Whoopie!!? Just to put things into perspective, there are usually 9 or 12 bogeys and each bogey can seat up to 50 passengers.

(Note: If you’re not into number crunching, I request you to skip to the next section)

So we have a maximum of 600 passengers out of 4100 who are seated (comfortably?) Assuming that the two compartments, purely dedicated for the women folk, are half as crowded as men’s, this would leave us with a little less than 3200 men in 10 small, cramped compartments who do not have a place to sit.

Now if you’ve ever seen a Mumbai local train, you’d understand the scale and magnitude of this conclusion that we’ve arrived upon after this huge (??) number crunching exercise. Imagine three hundred men shoved into a compartment, drenched in sweat getting all aggressive and restless – not really a pretty sight unless you’re gay.

Speaking of gay men, I’ve developed a lot of respect for them over the past two months. Having interacted with a couple of gay designers on the sets of shoots, I must say that they just keep out of harm’s way and are not even half as fussy as the models. They are quite normal (if you choose to overlook their body language, their well shaved legs and the pleasant smell of lavender.) In fact, I must add that they can be pretty darn sarcastic if they want to be!

On the other hand, Mumbaikars have a different sense of humor. And if there is one thing that is not exactly welcome in Mumbai, it’s sarcasm. I’ve been greeted with cold stares when I pass a sarcastic (yet friendly, if I might add!) comment in the local trains. I’m not sure if they don’t get it or they’re not in a mood for sarcasm. Anyhoo, not being sarcastic is killing me from the inside!! I feel like a fish out of water; like a tree without leaves; like Rakhi Sawant deprived of cheap publicity!! But I’ve managed to live on – sigh!

Yes, I’ve become more filmy and melodramatic – blame it on Bollywood.

PS0: This post was written in record time
PS1: Congrats Sam for delivering a baby boy
PS2: Why are forwards being spammed on PGP11 list? I mean, seriously, are you guys so jobless?!
PS3: Yet to recover from the shock exit from T20 World Cup. Yeh Cup kahin nahi jaayega my ass!
PS4: Work is still hectic :(

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10 Comments:

Blogger Argentyne said...

Gokul without sarcasm? Is that even possible? Get out of Mumbai :P

1:06 AM  
Blogger Vishal Jalan said...

Bloody jobless ppl
- A tired soul after a sales stint in the heat of delhi.

4:42 AM  
Anonymous the lazy dan said...

'Yeh Cup nahin jaayega' - England wins the title.

No sarcasm in Mumbai? Bad.

9:25 PM  
Anonymous obelix said...

post more - we wants more

8:56 AM  
Blogger @nks said...

sets of shoot.... bollywood .... designers ...

I m confused, what are working as ??

2:09 AM  
Blogger Sameera said...

well, well, i would have preferred the congrats on my blog or by mail..thanks anyway :)

who asked u to kill the sarcasm...this blog needs to be alive! use it here!

9:37 AM  
Blogger Sameera said...

well, well, i would have preferred the congrats on my blog or by mail..thanks anyway :)

who asked u to kill the sarcasm...this blog needs to be alive! use it here!

9:37 AM  
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