Mera apna humanoid

hu·man·oid
Pronunciation: 'hyü-m&-"noid, 'yü-
n. having human form or characteristics

Him: Excuse me sir, are you the optimist?
Me: Well, yes! I’m sorry, but do I know you?
Him: Greetings Master! I am Spawn 4.3 from 2016.
Me: What? I think you’ve got the wrong person. I don’t treat insanity coz I myself am suffering from it and no amount of optimism can save you from it. Also I'm an engineer, not a psychiatrist. *As if me being a psychiatrist would help*
Him: Master I come from the future. I am a humanoid built by you in 2016. I have been sent to 2006 to save humanity.
Me: *irritated*You think you are Arnold or something? And what’s with the master crap. Just cut it out.
Him: I was told that you won’t believe me. Take a look at this. *projects a holographic image*
Me: Whoa! What is that? Who is that? Is that.. is that.. *tries to delay the inevitable*
Him: Yes master. Its you. You look better with a clean shaven head. What do you think?
Me: Ewwwwwwww.. *pauses and thinks*Do you mean to tell me that you are from the future?
Him: Yes Master, 2016 to be precise. And all your near and dear ones are hale and hearty.
Me: Nice. 2016.. 10 years from now! *excited* BTW Spawn, am I married?
Him: Yes, master. And you have one son.
Me: Cool!! I have always wanted to have a son. *grins* Do I still blog? :-s
Him: Yes, master. For the next few days, Master asked you not to eat any junk food and take adequate water to keep the exponential growth of pimples under check. He says that if you don’t heed his advice, soon one could play “connect the dots” on your face.
Me: *angry* What?? Ok :( What else did I say?
Him: Master asked you not to attend the next SE class coz you would doze off in the class and your lecturer would catch you sleeping. And if he does, tell him that you have fever. He would not bother you.
Me: Hmm.. Thanks a lot. But that is a silly excuse. I would rather not attend the class. By the way you were talking about saving humanity. What was that all about?
Him: Master, the biggest threat to mankind in 2016 is..
Me: Terrorism, right?
Him: No master. Its Ekta Kapoor. She has started Kkekta TV, a 24-hour soap channel. As a result of which, the mankind is facing lots of difficulties. And that includes you. Your mother-in-law is an Ekta addict!! Hence I have been sent here with a mission: To prevent her from launching the channel.
Me: What?? Damn!! I thought Ekta was going down the drain what with the advent of reality shows and the recent slump in Kyunki.
Him: Master, you are mistaken. Everytime there was a slump in the ratings, Ekta registered a 20-year jump. Last heard, Tulsi was no more and now and then she gives a guest appearance as a spirit. It is reigning supreme at the TRP ratings.
Me: What?? A spirit?? *shakes head* Kabh sudharegi yeh Indian public..
Him: Master, Kkekta has become a global channel. A recent survey showed that 40% of the worlds population liked her serials. In fact France is going to make Hindi its official language this Monday.
Me: *shell-shocked*
Him: Now she’s a global celebrity. Last heard, Kkekta Channel was going to takeover STAR network. Also rumors say that she has signed Arnold to do her next teleserial “Kyunkii terminator bhi kkabhi governor tha”. Added to that, the Oscars have introduced..
Me: STOP IT!! I can’t take it anymore. Dont you have anything good to tell me? What’s with the world? Don’t they see the impending destruction? *regains composure* So how do you intend to stop her? Ouch.. don’t pinch me!

Suddenly I wake up to find myself in the SE class.

Freak: Dude, wake up, Sir has been watching you for quite some time.
Sir: That lean guy.. in blue T-shirt. Yes, you.
Me: Sir, me??
Sir: Yes!! You are the only lean guy. *class laughs while I shift weights from one leg to other uneasily* Yes.. silence. Why are you sleeping? Let me guess. You had been playing games till midnight yesterday, right?
Me: *cuts a sorry figure* Sir I have not been feeling well. I have been down with cold and fever for the past 2 days. *coughs and sniffs simultaneously*
Sir: *anger replaced by sympathy* Ooh.. you do look ill. Ok sit down. Try listening to the class. And also make it a point to visit the doctor before it gets more serious.
Freak: LOL! Dude, when did ya sleep last night?
Me: *sniggers* 4:00 in the morning. *goes back to sleep shamelessly*

Now was that a dream? Or was it some kind of apparition? I should have asked him about the result of the India-Pakistan series. DAMN!!

Quote of the day:

I don’t suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every moment of it.

P.S: Happy New Year to one and all.