Sunday, December 04, 2005

A tryst with ma be-loved relatives *barf barf*

Well, the title says it all. Actually a couple of weeks back, I had been to this house-warming ceremony of a distant-relative's to accompany mom, coz dad was busy at work and sis was off to college. Ok.. ok I accept it, i went to have good food and to see how my cousins were doing ;) (If you dont get it, IM me) But then I had not known the dire consequences I would face.

The moment I entered the house I was greeted by old uncles.. and by old I mean OLD!! They had dentures and they were very happy to see me. I have nothing against people with dentures unless of course they try to kiss me. YUCK!! And then I pretended that mom was calling and slipped away only to be confronted by aunties of the same age and kind. This time it was SICK!! So somehow made my way out of these two concentration camps towards the first floor.

Much to my relief, I found my cousin who was taking care of the kids and as soon as she saw me, she washed her hands off the kids and asked me to watch them for a while(Then it was uncles and aunties thrice or four times my age, and now it was kids half my age) After contemplating for a while, I concluded that nothing could be worse than what I had gone through just then. So I agreed and I thought I saw a sheepish or rather an evil grin from her when she left. coz what happened next was to tell in a single word.. awful.
One of my younger cousins (read 5-year old) wanted to climb me. For those who do not know, I am 6" tall. And I being a nice guy agreed. At first everything was fine coz he was not able to get a firm grip. But suddenly with a jerk, he climbed me just like that and before I could react, he was sitting on my head and was smiling victoriously as if he had conquered Mt. Everest.
Encouraged by the exploits of their fellow-cousin, the others started their climb on what many thought was unconquerable. And by the time I got rid of them, my very neatly ironed shirt was so crumpled that even MG wud be ashamed. hehe..

When I came back I was so relieved to find my younger cousin, that I thanked my stars. We hung out together, looking out for each other for some time till it was time for LUNCH.. I was ecstatic on seeing the banana leaves. somehow whets my appetite. (Another Tamilian syndrome I guess..) Sat down and then I see this uncle who comes and sits beside me. And then this conversation follows

Un: dey Gokul, How are you??
me: I am fine mama. And how are you??
Un: Oh do you remember me?? Recognize me?
me: *looks into his eyes intently for 10 secs* I do remember you, but just can't recollect your name.
Un: *gives a hint* Besan Laddu.. Jalebi..
me: *what kinda shitty hint is that?? still scratching my head.. blabbers some name which I have forgotten*
Un: hehe.. No.. I am X.. I saw you when you were thiiiiiiiiis *cups his hand to show that I was a 6-month old infant* small..
me: *growing resentment.. manages to smile* Oh.. no wonder I cant remember you.. *woops*
Un: Naughty boy.. *grins*

And my cousin cracks up. :|

Next after lunch I make my way to see mom to tell her that I would be going out for a small walk when I am caught by this group of ladies in their "madisaar"(huge sari)
Me, Aunt 1 and Aunt2.

Au1: *stops me and looks at me from head to toe or is it the other way around.. i dunno*
Au2: dey Gokul.. You have grown soo tall.. How?
me: *blinks and smiles* I just grew..
Au1&2: Hahahahahahahaha
me: *another sheepish grin and a weak smile*
Au2: So what are you doing?
me: I am studying in IIITH.
Au1: *cups her mouth in Miss India style* Ohhh.. You did not get into CBIT or MVSR? Which branch?
me: *dammmnn.. I was getting real irritated but managed to stay calm* CSE mami..
Au2: *shocked* what? CSE aa? enna pa.. (When translated, it becomes "What?") What happened? Baby is doing her ECE in a reputed college in Chennai. She is studying very hard. How much is your fee?
me: 70,000 per annum.
Au2: Oh CSE you took an NRI seat. Study well thambi.. Your parents are spending so much money na. Why did you take NRI seat in such a college?
me: *extremely pissed off* mami, IIITH is the best college for CSE in India. We have had a record of 100% placements and I am studying quite well. We have no reservations for girls also. And I got into the insti after securing a rank of 676 in AP in the AIEEE exam.
Au1&2: *shocked and surprised* Ohhh sorry da.. feel pannariya? (Translates to dont feel bad)
me: *smiles like a chesire cat* Why will I feel mad? I am used to these questions. So howz baby doing?
Au2: She is doing fine da..
me: Ok mami.. :) I gotta be going. Bye
Au1&2: Bye da.
me: *thanks God*

And then I managed to stay away from all the mamis, mamas, paatis, thaatas.. in short all my relatives for the rest of the evening. Man, I was relieved when I reached home on that day. My sane dad, my less irritable sister and my sweet mom.. So much for good food.. ~sigh~

Quote of the day:
"The hardest thing to hide is something thats not there"

P.S: From now onwards, I'll drop subtle hints in my PS's to the questions which I do not answer to you guys. So keep visiting :) And todays hints are...
Sending, forwarding or replying to SMS's is highly addictive and is not recommended.
Its very difficult to stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.. So beware of me :D
If you love someone, no matter what kind of mistake they do, you always tend to forgive them.
To touch people’s lives in whatever small ways you can.. That’s life.



Anonymous Sir ram A said...

for you its ok da, for me trouble is that , my peripa lives in the houese,just above even his colleagues,my perima's colleages,cousins,distant relatives(being a tamilian u should know waht distant-relative should mean)& my cousins freinds & their moms..OMG :)) =))
the best part is ofcourse is that they might bring something to eat.
and cons, are the usual

Others(Mami/maama's):Dei, you where so small , the last time I saw you.
Me: yeaahh :groaning-smiling:
Others: paah!!(exclamation in wonder)you have grown sooo tall.
Me: hmmmm :shifting the weight from one leg to another:
Other: where is your sister studying?
Me: penn state univ...
Others: ooohhh!! even my-son / my-sister's,-sister-inlaws-brother-in-laws
son is also studying in US.he is in florida.shall i tell him to meet her.he will come in car!!!!!!
Me: :smiling to conceal the urge to rofl: (florida to penn in car 27 hrs of driving

dei, dont be critical of them ,da.
they are just the quintessential people of the past society.i agree, they say the samething over-and-over again.So, do we atleast in our blogs.Anyway, if it was not for them,where would this blog come in.

PS: V&V's tips:--
Other: Dei, you where so small the last time I saw you...
V&V: yaa, you where young last time & now you are sooooo OLD.

V&V rocks in giving zany advices.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous sriram..again said...

Au2: dey Gokul.. You have grown soo tall.. How?
me: *blinks and smiles* I just grew..

whoa!!! Master stroke ill try it next time...

9:11 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Hi da.. first things first.. welcome to my blog

Actually I cudnt find anything humorous to blog about. Dint mean to offend relatives et all.. If one is a tamilian, he'll know how indispensable relatives are :D Loved the florida to penn part.. =)) and shifting weights.. hehe.

Hey you are really gud at writing about ur relatives.. maybe u shud post sthn related to ur stint with ur relatives.

P.S: V&V must be a hot favourite with his relatives.. hehehehe..
Ya try "I just grew" funda and you'll be greeted with tarzan kinda laughter.. harharharharhar... bruhahahhaahahaha.. [-(

10:19 PM  
Blogger Sameera said...

hmmm..kissin uncles and aunts...whoa!!!!
they must be really fond of u spawny!!!!!!!!heahahahhahaha evil laff..

liked the idea of a kid on ur head...shit wanna see a pic now..

"Sending, forwarding or replying to SMS's is highly addictive and is not recommended.

neeku antha sure u CANNOT message :p hehahaha

7:50 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

thanks for dropping a _____ on my blog...

how old is ur neice?

do visit again...



11:07 PM  
Blogger Lord of all Things said...

Suuuuper posttt!!! hehe

similar and not so similar i had done off on moms ,marrriages and relatives:D

11:41 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Everyone is fond of me and that includes my relatives as well :) And the thought of having this guy sitting on my head sounbds rather funny now, but believe me.. its painful. He messed up my hair, and my ears have shown a 2cm growth after he pulled em with all his might. All this within a span of 25 seconds!! *phew* He was fast..

12:32 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Hi welcome to my blog..
I have 2 nieces.. one is 9 years old and the other one turned 5 the day before yesterday.. I miss em.. very naughty and cute.. *sigh*

Keep visiting :)

1:35 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Are you some kind of Rajnikant fan?? :-& You seem to have a liking to the word "super" :P.. Keep visiting and comment "off" now and then.. :D

P.S to all: Please do not mind the excessive usage of smileys.. :-s I am a .. *stammers* chat addict.. *nahiiiiiiiiiii*

3:45 AM  
Blogger Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

Tiz kinna weird meeting old relatives ...
i mean every year ... or even twice a year i meet my momz chachaji's (uncles, etc) and they ask da same question ... 'Ohhh! u've grown so tall !! Study nicely, ur parents are spending so much on u ...' nd the same stuff..

Btw nice knowing so much abt you ... lucky me i didnt have to go thru the AIEEE...IIT.. and jazz!

cudnt stop laughing @ he climbed me just like that and before I could react, he was sitting on my head and was smiling victoriously as if he had conquered Mt. Everest.

Lol tht was cute!!

12:38 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Hi.. Welcome to ma blog..

Ya about the grown up part, somehow they do that each and everytime. Maybe they do not have anything else to talk about.. And no AIEEE or IIT?? Dyu even belong to the same planet?? Man are you lucky or what.. [-(

2:02 PM  
Blogger Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

Hahaha ... yeahh ... i got an admission here, in a London univ. coz of my excellent previous record (no boasting here, coz i really screwed up my 12th CBSE result)... plus i havent chosen a science field now... was never really interested anyway !

2:08 PM  
Blogger Halley said...

the description about climbing mt.everest was hilarious.
btw wasnt this IIIT-NRI seat a very very old story..i remember you telling this about an year ago :p

6:15 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Lucky you.. *jealous*
And what do you mean by excellent previous record, when you actually screwed up your 12th??

8:09 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Finally u came.. >:D<
Actually the last time the NRI thing came up when the concerned party asking the questions was a local. But this time it was my aunt from Chennai. It is a universal fact that all these people think on similar lines, right?? Actually she asked "NRI seat aa?" unlike mentioned in the passage, but then I just forgot the exact dialogue while writing the post :P And it never hurts to add a li'l bit of humor if it comes with a li'l bit of fabrication :P

8:14 PM  
Blogger Abbulu the good guy said...

IIIT ?? NRI ?? same ol' tale ....but...arrrgh!! I think Crypt-dooD's coming out !!!

9:19 PM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

dude.. no one wants the crypt master.. everyone wants the good ol' abbulugadu.. control ayya.. control :)

12:33 AM  
Blogger Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

Previous record ... i meant before 12th! u know till my 11th and my 12th preliums .... plus the extra curricular activities and the personal statement i prepared and the references by my teachers and pricipal and .............

I got an admission here before my 12th result was out ...

2:23 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

lucky.. very lucky..

3:25 AM  
Blogger Gulam Hasan said...

u actually went thru tht hell jus for food...challo out w it for whom did u go?....
realtives-thts the reason i dont go to gatherings were am expecting relatives ....kissin uncles yuck...
next time u want good food u jus go to a restaurant dude..or mebbe not go to ur relatives place so tht we can c another blog :D

11:40 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

You want me to do that again so that you can have another post?? How mean!! Well, you must hav heard about a burnt child dreading fire.. And I dread get-togethers now.. Hav decided to stay away from too young or too old relatives.. Now thats one resolution that I might keep for some time!!

12:31 PM  
Blogger Rohan said...

wonder wht ur uncles and aunties will have to say abt all this....hehe..keep blogging.

12:25 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

*hides for cover*
arey is tarah dara mat yaar.. ek second ke liye toh meri jaan hi le li..

And welcome to ma blog >:D<

5:45 AM  
Anonymous guessme said...

In IIIT Ur studying well???Is it true...Dont cheat ur aunty....

7:49 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Hi.. welcome to my blog.. Well the phrase "I am studying well" means "I am not sudying very badly" ;)
And I have guessed who you are.. :D

1:38 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home