Wednesday, December 16, 2009

About being random and crazy

When was the last time you struck a deal with God? Or may be a challenge? If Tendulkar hits a six of the next ball, then India will definitely lose this match. (Of course whenever the bet was on, Tendulkar always managed to either tap it to the on-side for a harmless single or just miss the line, play all over the ball and get bowled) Which is why today I was on the doorstep of atheism when Sri Lanka almost snatched a victory contrary to the divine judgement. But thankfully, the Lankans choked, no further records were created (Highest chase, highest chase against India, highest chase in India, highest chase in India against India and all the other permutations and combinations!) and I continue to roam the "no man's land" separating the agnostics from the true believers

Which got me thinking - when I speak to God, I do the voiceover for God as well (Hangover of the advertising industry) For example:
ME: Oh Lord Tirupathi Balaji, will I be a successful writer?
GOD: Oh yes, you will be. But I cannot say whether it will happen during your lifetime or posthumously.
ME: Ah.. come on!!
GOD: You should have framed your question better. After all, you're an IIM grad. Gotcha! :D

Yes, my conversations with God can be really weird. The conditions and constraints that exist during my conversations with God are as follows:
1. We decide on the number of questions that can be asked. Yes, there is negotiation involved.
2. Each one of us needs to be very careful while laying the condition on which the bet would revolve. Because loopholes, however silly, can be used to advantage.
3. Neither of the voices are squeaky, shrill or high-pitched (All these conversations are held in a virtual, concealed environment called the human mind)
4. If both sides find out loopholes in each other's arguments, then the bets are off.
Yes, I'm a lot like JD from Scrubs. I live in a world of my own.

Anyhoo, this brings me to a more important question - is this condition something common? Do any of you guys suffer from this or is it something like Progenia (one in a zillion kids!) The stupid thing is - I know that it is me who is pretending to be the voice of God (Yes, I know oo stupid conscience of mine! You're a wolf in a sheep's clothing!) And still, I choose to argue with it as if it were really pertinent. There is a difference between wrestling with your conscience and deifying it while challenging and placing counter arguments.

I guess I am just another nutcase with nothing better to do.

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