The Human Calculator..

There was this phase I went through, in my third year, when I used to sit and calculate my CGPA time and again. After having accounted for various permutations and combinations, I'd arrive at my GPA for the semester and consecutively my CGPA. The whole funda behind the exercise was to check whether there was any hope of me crossing 7 at the end of 4 years. And typical of me, I'd always put very optimistic estimates and would feel good about myself. But at the end of the semester, I'd get a rude shock when my GPA would be a good half point less than what I had calculated. But at the end of my 4 years, I'm proud to say that I crossed the psychological 7 mark. Its like getting a total of 300 on a flat pitch - you never know whether it would be enough or not.

So why am I saying such things on the public domain and lowering my image amongst my readers? Because the syndrome is back again to haunt me through my post graduation. Yes, the past couple of days, I've been calculating my GPA for the first semester - adding new results and revising estimates time and again. I've come to be known as the Human Calculator (of GPA) not because I calculate faster than anyone else but because I am the only one involved in such fruitless activities. People come to me asking for an estimate of their GPAs. I, just like the fake baba/saint/whatever-you-refer-to-them-in-your-language, give them hope by over estimating their GPAs. Well, I am not charging any fee for this small service I offer. Not yet. But I hope I dont get into trouble once the sem results are out. If things work out just fine, then I might start charging some consultation fee from the next semester. So how does this work? This calculating of GPAs?

DISCLAIMER: Please dont try this at home. Or in class. Or in your hostel rooms. These are trained professionals who have spent their lives perfecting the art of calculating GPA.

Well, firstly you take into account the past record of the instructor. If it is Mr.X who has given 40 Ds last sem, you take an optimistic grade of C- for that course. If it is Ms.Y who believes in giving lesser As and more Bs and Cs, you take into account the mean grade - which might be a B or a C ,and then calculate the resulting GPA. Other factors which should be considered include the number of times the instructor has caught you sleeping in the class, the overall performance of your section and batch, and the average performance of your section and batch. Believe me - calculating GPAs is a very tough job and not everyone is cut out to do the same. Only a select few are gifted with qualities of estimation and intution to carry out a good job.

So I repeat - please dont try this in your data compression/HSSM/Open Elective lectures. It might be a highly amusing exercise at the beginning, but one tends to get addicted to it. They're worse than drugs! Not to mention the depression one experiences due to overquoting of GPAs. You need to be a certified GPA calculator to put the worst beind you and continue calculating for the coming semesters. May the force be with you.

PS1: After my second year, my calculation speed increased manifold mainly because of 2 reasons:
a) calculating my GPA after every mid-term/end-term result was announced
b) when India used to chase a huge target. Once upon a time, we used to be good chasers
PS2: I finished the Quant section of CAT in 35 minutes. No prizes for guessing why.
PS3: I spent 1 hour 15 minutes on the verbal section in CAT :(
PS4: Hectic life.
PS5: Somebody scrap me.
PS6: Somebody comment!
PS7: We have dandiya night scheduled today. We are supposed to come dressed in ethnic wear.. :|
PS8: Special buffet arranged for tonight. hehehehe.. aakramannn.. :D
PS9: Washing clothes in washing machines is not a pain at all! :D
PS10: I hate wearing suits!
PS11: Mom, if you're reading this - Hi!
PS12: Seriously, why is the Indian cricket team so inconsistent?!
PS13: CAT 07 round the corner. All the best to all the CAT takers.
PS14: Work piling up. adios!