Some people tell me that I think too much.. about things which are too trivial.. about things which are highly improbable.. about things which won’t affect me.. about things which should be left where they are, in the back of one’s mind. Well, this ability of mine might very well have saved me from plunging into despair today. Our networks grades are out. I got an F. Strangely I am at peace. I am not shocked, although this F is quite a huge shock. I never expected it. It came out of nowhere. I have not cried, (actually I shouldn’t be) but there is this tinge of sorrow, which is quite understandable. Told mom about the grade and she was worried about the fact that I was not worried. So am I.. :(

But as they say, everything happens for a reason. And I will not let this affect me in any way. And if you do have sympathies, may be you can save it for some other “occasion” i.e if I do not get calls from any of the IIMs. And I am pretty sure that it won’t happen, because it is HIGHLY impossible. :P I don’t know what is happening to me, why it is happening to me? But I shall move on. But one thing is confirmed though. Rawat might very well be a sadist. It seems he had given 37 F’s, and then changed 25 of them to D’s. Or maybe I am mad at him for giving us bad grades.

I guess everyone needs a wake up call. The only problem for me now is this grade has considerably narrowed my options of taking an Elective/Open elective next semester. But I think I have grown immune to all the unexpected turns that life has got to throw at me. Right now I am just plain confused at the fact that I am not mourning my grade. Why? Why? Why?

Maybe I have not come to terms with the reality.. the feeling (or rather the grade) is yet to sink in. Maybe I am running away from it. Maybe I am just way too shocked after seeing the grade. Maybe the prominence of grades does not hold anymore.. at least to me. This grade hasn't changed me, but might change people's behavior towards me, and maybe THEN I might the realise eminence of this grade. Or MAYBE its the fact that Bruhadeswar would be taking the course next time and I can expect MUCH MUCH better grades. Maybe I should JUST STOP THINKING. Or maybe not.

PS1: I had come up with this very good short story (in my opinion), but I guess it can wait. Will blog it when the time is right. My orkut fortune says "Share your happiness with others today!!" :-?? WTF!!
PS2: The dramatics club is going somewhere, thanks to Mr Vasudevan and Jimmy/Jacky.. (thats how he was referred to by Ms. Somebody ;)) )