Lukog the Great...

The story of Lukog the great, is as sensational as the da Vinci Code itself, for the story has been the most closely guarded secret after the holy grail. However, today I am going to narrate to you one of the most astounding tales of rise of a monarch which your history teacher chose not to because of the gross factor.

Early Life

The authenticity of the birth of King Lukog has long been debated by scholars. So lets not go into the intracacies involved and get straight to our story. As a child, Lukog grew into a courageous and brave boy, sometimes taking on cockroaches and rats head on, much to the delight of his proud father and the disgust of his scared mother. Developing into an impeccable warrior general, a shrewd statesman and a natural linguist (it was said that he could converse with the rats and vultures) he excelled in dodging creatures and slaying them expertly.

Rise to power

As he entered TIII (a Technical Institute for the Insane and the Irresponsible) he was asked to quell a lizard rebellion in sector 280, OBH (Ogre-like Beasts' Habitation) Although this was the first time he had encountered a lizard, he stayed unperturbed much to the surprise of the lizards and hence earned their respect. By the end of the year, he had crushed the rebellion with an iron fist. (Thats just a metaphor! He had tactfully driven it away into the neighbouring kingdom using long iron rods) The joy of his subjects knew no bounds and hence they rechristened him as Lukog the Great fondly.

This time NLB, astonished by the grace and diplomacy with which he had handled the rebellion, assigned him sector 209, NBH (Nasty Beasts' Habitation) where the subjects were tormented by 2 lochness lizard monsters. Brimming with confidence, Lukog made his presence felt from day 1 by banishing away one of them to the Scottish waters. (The monster lives in incognito today) However the other one was stubborn and not ready to budge.

Conquest of the monster

Unfazed by its arrogance, Lukog engaged it in intense staring contests, but it was too lazy to stare back. Innumerable one-sided, verbal duels were also highly futile and a truce was nowhere in sight. The shock and awe strategy was not working either. Baffled by this failure, Lukog decided to finish it once and for all. Soon his commander attacked it with the greatest invasion ever recorded in Indian history until then. The monster put up a stiff resistance, but it was no match for Lukog's powerful armies, sophisticated weapons (again a long iron rod and a Hindu newspaper) and his experienced commander. Soon the monster was slayed, much to the delight of the commander and chagrin of the watchers.

Embrace of Lizardism

As the legend goes, the day after the war was over, Lukog ventured out to roam his kingdom and all he could see was the blood of the monster splattered all over and its twitching tail. This sight made him sick and he cried the famous quotation, "What have I done?" The brutality of the conquest led him to adopt and embrace Lizardism and he used his position to propagate the relatively new philosophy to new heights. It has also been known recently that Lukog was a great source of inspiration to the likes of Ashoka. Anyways concluding the story, the only reason why huge, fat lizards roam freely all over OBH and NBH, unperturbed by the huge brooms and the iron rods, owe it all to Lukog the Great.

Quote for the day is:

Life's real failure is when you do not realise how close you were to success when you chose to gave up.

PS1: This post is dedicated to all those who have suffered in the hands of countless number of lizards. And any similarities between Lukog and Ashoka are purely co-incidental. Or maybe as they say, History repeats itself.
PS2: Also there is absolutely no correlation between King Lukog and me, although his name when spelt backwards is my name. (Dont tell me, you never realised!)